Teaching children universal oneness starts with the family

Teaching people that we are all connected, we are all one is not an easy task. Many people are so mired in their own little worlds, their own problems, their own views that they are unable to see that what affects one effects all. How do we teach our children that we are all connected in the face of a world programming your child to think differently? It starts with you and the family. Families are the microcosm of the universe. If we teach the children that what one in the family experiences, they too experience and are affected by it.

 Discuss with your children the following scenarios:

 If one child breaks his leg, all are affected. The child might not be able to do his chores for a time and others have to pick up the slack. The child might be in pain and cranky. How does that affect others? What about when the child goes to school? How are his classmates affected? The teacher?

 What if one child gets in trouble for bad behavior? How does that affect the family? The anger and tension it creates has a way of creeping over to every family member. Even the dog feels the change in the energy. Children have to realize that their decisions have consequences not only for them but for others as well.

 What if a parent loses a job? Or their work requires the family to move? What if a family member becomes seriously ill? Ask your children examples of how something someone else has done has had an impact on their life. By getting their input it becomes more of a discussion and less of a lecture.

 I find teaching this concept to be daunting especially when trying to reach teenagers who have been taught by society that it is ok to be selfish, to care only for the moment. Isn't that what the phrase YOLO is all about? It doesn't matter what you do as long as it feels good. You only live once right? Consequences be damned. My only advice is to just keep trying. Eventually they will get it.

 Once children can grasp that what happens to one in the family, happens to all, it is not a huge step to take their perceptions to a grander level. Start with examples of things in their school, then examples in the state, country, and globally. Use examples to make them really think. How does the decimation of the rain forest affect them? Oil spills? Wars? Get them thinking about something other than their version of reality. This is how you raise a conscious child in a world designed to make them selfish and ego centered.

 
Namaste'

Help your family raise thier vibration

Many of us are working on upgrading our vibrations. The higher we vibrate, the better we feel, the more love and joy we experience, and our world view changes. You may be changing your thought patterns, meditating, and connecting to source, but what about your family members? While ascension is a personal journey that has to be taken only when the soul is ready, you can help your loved ones raise their vibration some too.

If you have teenagers like I do, you might be getting rolled eyes or evasion when you try to discuss esoteric principles with them.  Here is an activity that can help open dialog among the family and can be done by everyone regardless of age.

Pick a time to conduct this activity, anytime when you are all together (or as many as you can get at one time), it can be in the car on the way to school or at the table during dinner. Don’t get hung up on ceremony or the message will get lost. 

Have each member of the family tell the following:

·         One thing they are grateful for.

 It can be anything “I’m grateful I found a matching pair of socks fast today” BUT they cannot say the same thing twice in a row.

·         One thing they did to be nice to another person or the earth.

It can be anything “I gave someone a piece of gum” to “I recycled today”. If a family member is having a hard time thinking of something, ask the others if that person had done something nice that they just can’t remember.

The family may grump and groan, but reminding them to hold a place in their heart to be grateful will help them to raise their vibration. Having them focus on the importance of doing good things for other people and the earth will help them develop a lifelong love of helping others, especially when they realize how good it feels.

Namaste

 

Meet Your Spirit Guide.

Yesterday was a full moon with an Eclipse. The energies were high and their was a joy in the air. I saw a report that yesterday was the first day in recorded history that there was no violent crime in New York City. The shift is happening. More people are waking up and starting to realize what is important in life. It's all very exciting.

I did a meditation to contact my spirit guide. I've done these before, but have not really gotten anywhere. The energies were so high, I thought I would try it again. In the meditation, I went into a field by a huge tree and asked my spirit guide to appear. A tall, beautiful Native American man appeared. My heart leaped, I rushed to him, hugged him, and held his face between my hands. I can't accuretly describe the joy that I felt seeing him again. It was a reunion with a long lost friend. His name is Standing Bear. I think he was given that name because of his huge size. He was tall and broad.  We sat under the big tree. I was curled up in between his legs like old friends cuddling. I asked him a few questions and it was as if he answered before I could even finish a sentence.

"Will I be a great Healer?"  

"Yes, You already are, just believe."
 

"Will there be an event like 3 days of darkeness to wake people up?"

 "No, it's not going to be that easy." He says with an easy smile. "There is still much work to do."
 

All to soon it was over. I know that I will be contacting him again and hope that this is the beginning of a good relationship. Hopefully I will get to the point where I can contact him & hear him without meditation. 

Here is the link to a Youtube guided meditation that I used to help connect with my spirit guide. I hope it brings you much success too.

Releasing Grief

We are all going through an energy upgrade right now including the Earth. In this shift of energy the Earth and its people are releasing grief. Grief though necessary, can become so part of our identity that it stops us from enjoying life and growing into our future selves.  Intellectually most of us can reason that our loved ones are "in a better place" or that "we'll see them again", our hearts however are not intellectual. Our hearts hurt at the devastating loss of a loved ones, of things left undone, of words left unsaid. What grief are you holding inside? Ask God and your angels to help you release any negative emotions inside you that are holding you back.  You may receive help through your dreams, messages from others and animals.

 I lost my dad 12 years ago and while I miss him, I am blessed with regular visits from him in my dreams and in the waking world. I honestly thought I was through the gut wrenching grief process. I was so wrong. I had a night of back to back dreams that I couldn't seem to stop or wake from. The dream that hit me the hardest had my great-grandmother in it. Who knew that I still held loss inside for her as well. In the dream I went to tell my dad that his grandmother had passed. I was sad and even feeling lonely without her in my life. Just then my dad looked stricken, in pain and slumped on the couch. I screamed at him and he opened his eyes and said "You are going to be just fine" and then he passed. The sound that emitted from my throat was one of intense grief, pain, and abandonment.  The next sequences in the dream was me telling different people "My daddy's dead". Each time that I repeated that it was a releasing of grief and an acceptance took place. I had no idea that I had so much pain still stuck inside.

I awoke in the morning, remembering all the dreams and cried deep heartfelt sobs. Each gut wrenching sob was a release. I said a prayer of gratitude that I received the healing. Just then Jack, my parrot, began to whistle the "Andy Griffith theme song"  one of my dad's favorites tunes. I smiled and knew that I was going to be just fine.

Girls leading with the Sacral Chakra

On facebook Deborah King posts questions daily to help prompt journaling. A recent question was if a teacher had ever hurt or discouraged us. In an instant my mind went back to the 8th grade.

I went to a small Catholic elementary school that went from K - 8th grade. There were approx 45 kids in my graduating class. For the most part I was an outcast. Kids instinctively know when there is something not right with a kid. When a child is not getting what they need from the home, they don't relate to their peers with self confidence and honestly. When a classmate did decide to let me in or come over for a birthday party, invariably something would happen. My mom would act crazy yelling about something and in some cases even hitting me in front of friends. Or she and my father got into a fight with lots of cussing, screaming, and the threat of violence in the air. Even if a classmate did like me, they would avoid me after that. A glimpse into my world was enough. The general demographic for the school was white children being raised in a two parent household where they were doing their best to project that their households are picture perfect. I am not naive enough to think that my family was the only one with secrets. My family just didn't have the self control to hide it well. I did have one good friend. Her name was Dawn and her family life wasn't the norm either. She was being raised by a single mom when it was just not common. We bonded in our inability to fit in. Things changed when she moved away after the 6th grade year. Seventh grade was really hard for me. I didn't have my one good friend and I was lonely. I still was an outcast with the popular kids and those on the lower social tier in my class just barely tolerated me. I had started making up stories, lying to them to make myself into someone, anyone other than my real self. Kids, they are smart and they can see through that as well.

Something happened during the summer after 7th grade. My pudgy child body transformed itself into a well developed, voluptuous, curvy body. I noticed during the summer at the pool that the older boys were noticing. I realized then that there was power in sexuality. When I returned to school for my final 8th grade year, not much seemed to have changed. I was still the freak, but there was this air about me of knowing, knowing about the power of sexuality and I wasn't afraid to use it. The girls in my class HATED me even more, but now I didn't care. I had found the attention I craved from the the boys.

In my home neighborhood I had also found boys. I would walk my dog to the local park and there would be other kids there. Like moths to a flame. As I explored my power outside of school, my self-confidence increased inside of school. I was transforming. I learned how to flirt and how to use my body to gain what I wanted. At the time it was the only power I held. I couldn't control my father's drinking. I couldn't control my mother's rage and hate. I couldn't control the feeling that there must be some reason I didn't deserve to be loved and cherished. I COULD control my sexuality. I knew that I had something the boys wanted, not only 8th grade boys but high school boys as well. I had the control. One might think that I must have had sex with so many... but that was giving the power away. There was much more power in holding what was wanted just within reach. The thought of what could be granted made quite a few jump through insane hoops.

There was at an evening 8th graduation party with all of my classmates and one of my teachers was a chaperon. During the party, I walked with a guy to get something down the street at his house. Completely innocent. The teacher saw that I had disappeared and when she went with a couple of other girls to find me she told one of them that I was probably "on my back somewhere". When I did return to the party, one of those girls told me in front of the teacher what had been said. I looked at this teacher, someone I looked up to, my English teacher (my favorite subject), she looked back at me and didn't deny it, her eyes confirmed that she had indeed said it. I remember laughing it off and even giving the boy I had left with a look like "oh OK...whatever" I have NEVER forgotten it. In that instant she made me feel like trash, back to that outcast kid who would never fit in.

Was she reacting to the signs I had given? Absolutely. I was a child venturing into the world of sexuality at to young an age. There was nothing innocent about me. I knew exactly what I was doing and who I was manipulating. I understood the power. I was leading with my 2nd chakra, the Sacral chakra.

What angers me the most is that this educator had a choice. She saw what was happening, the changes in me, and she chose to call it out instead of choosing to find out what was going on in my life. Why didn't she take a moment to sit me down and find out why I only valued myself for my physical attributes and sexual power?

Today I volunteer in a middle school and I see the girls that lead with their sexuality, that are trying to find their place in the world, their self confidence by using their body and sexual power. Their female classmates call them Sluts, their male classmates drool, and the teachers just shake their heads. Why isn't anyone asking WHY? WHY do these girls feel the need to exert themselves in such a way. Where is their self confidence in their sports ability, academics, or in being a good person in general? Who or what has taken that away from them? Why are some educators and counselors so afraid to talk about sex that they just want to shake their heads and DO NOTHING? Instead many of them wager "I bet she will be pregnant by the time she is 16".

I read a book recently that helped to put the crisis many young girls face into words. "Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls" by Mary Pipher. This book should be mandatory reading for all middle/high school teachers and even parents of girls. We need to be able to see the signs of kids leading with their sexuality and teach them other ways to have confidence. We need to find out what is going on in their lives that make them feel as if they have no control. When you lead only with the Sacral Chakra, other areas might suffer, self esteem and self worth could be compromised.

Be grateful, even for the annoyances of life

The turtle

Repost from 5/17/11

Yesterday there was this HUGE turtle crossing the road, he was only half way across the road when my brother-in-law stopped him and told me about him. Never one to miss a neat moment I called to Maddie, my 2 year old  and told her we were going to see a turtle. We walked down the street all the while I was answering the same question "Where is the turtle?". I saw a car coming and actually walked into the middle of the street to stop the car from hitting the turtle. Often cars don't realize that what they are seeing is a live creature in the road and not already road kill. I made the decision at that moment that I had to make sure that he made it safely across the road.

So Maddie and I walk up to the turtle and I just can't believe how big he is! Gorgeous! I had no idea if it was a snapping turtle or a really HUGE box turtle. So I started to nudge him across the road with my foot and when he didn't try to fight me or bite I took the gamble and decided to pick him up. He went deep into his shell and I decided to carry him home. All afternoon we watched him and marveled at his size and beauty, and named him HIPPO. :) I even sat and performed Reiki on him. While I was touching his shell and sending Reiki he would pop his head out just a little. I could actually feel his heart beat or life force through the shell. Really neat connecting that way.

Last night I set him in the pasture and told him to go about his life with good health. I told Maddie that the turtle that we named Hippo had to go home and see his family and she understood and told him goodbye.

I was grateful for his brief visit, and I realized that I probably interrupted his day and his journey. It made me think of how many times in our lives someone just picks us up and takes us from our plans and our reaction to this disruption in our routine. What I have to keep in mind is that those disruptions are all important and part of our life path as well. We don't know the plan and all the factors, we have to accept things on faith.

Maybe that slow driver, that is so annoying was what kept us from getting into an accident. There were people on 9/11 who said that it was little things that kept them from being in the twin towers on time. One person broke her heel of her shoe, another stopped to get band aids, one had a child make a mess of an outfit that caused someone to miss a train. All of these things if you look at them are just things that can irk you and make you feel as if the world is against you. However, when you realize that these little problems kept the person from possibly dying that day you realize they were blessings.

I hope that the turtle made his way safely home. It could be that his little detour to my house was not only a treat for us but maybe it saved his life.

Churches need to teach connection to source

I went to church on Sunday. It was the first time in many years. As a recovering Catholic, I am gun shy to say the least. We decided to go to a non-denominational Christian church. The service was cute, small, and had a decent feel to it. . After communion, they sang one verse of a song about 20 times. The verse was about people having complete love for God. The congregation really got into it and each repeat was sung with more feeling. After the fifth repeat I felt the energy lifting to God in celebration. I could see the golden rays of energy coming down as the connection to source was opened. Feeling it in a group setting was incredible and it brought tears to my eyes. The goosebumps raised as I felt Grace wash over me. It was incredible and powerful...

Then church was over and we stumbled out into the sun. It hit me... how incredibly sad. For many people that would be their only peak at the divine they would have until they went to church again. I would wager that most of the congregation does not meditate or participate in energy work of any kind. Often churches lump alternative healing into a group that is taboo, like psychics. (the fact that the bible talks about Prophets, but demonizes psychics drives me nuts, but that is another topic) How sad that the masses are not taught how to access the source on their own. People are often taught from an early age that they have to GO to church or through a priest to feel God's love. What people should be taught is that they have a direct link to God if they would just be still and open themselves to it.  I'm not saying that going to church is pointless. It's a great way to join with community and share a love for your fellow man and God, but it shouldn't be their only link.

The experience made me realize how grateful I am that my unconventional life path has lead me to strive to be connected with God at all times. It also made me realize that I need to make sure that my children know how to access the source on their own. I don't want them to feel that they have to go through something or someone to feel what is theirs by divine right.

Hopes and Dreams are Essential

It is essential that we as humans hope and dream, pretend even. there is no harm in going shopping, trying things on, putting purses on your shoulder to see how they look, holding stunning earrings up to your ears to see how they feel. This doesn't mean you have to buy them. What's important is feeling the surge of these beautiful items in your universe. It's saying to the world that I deserve and will have fine items one day... just not at this moment. It's the hope that your particular money situation will change, that you are not destined to be financially strapped forever.

if you say to yourself that you are poor and can't afford these items, you are putting out to the universe that you are unworthy. That these items or things don't belong with a person like you. what a hopeless state to be in.

The law of attraction is real and it can work for or against you. the choice is yours. By allowing yourself to dream of how great that 28k hand blown chandelier shaped like a school of fish would look in your home, you are putting positive intentions out in the universe. On the other hand if you say to yourself, I like it, but I could never afford it... you are right, you never will,

Dream... Hope... Imagine

The universe will provide for your needs and wants... you just have to believe in the possibility.

Can you really love God and be filled with hate?

How can people say they love God but behave the way they do?
If you love God wouldn't you accept all of his children? Would it matter if they are gay/lesbian? Would it matter if they are Muslim, Jewish, or Wiccan? Would it matter if they are black, white, Mexican, Asian? If you love God how can you not love all his children? How can people truly believe that they love God, but have hate for other's in their heart? How many wars have been fought in the name of God? How many people abused or mistreated all due to an interpretation of God's word?

We are all here doing the best we can from our state of consciousness. We are all here to learn our lessons and perfect for God. Some of us choose very difficult lives. What if the junkie down the street is here to learn self love? Who are we to judge them or not love them. Even if we don't agree with someones belief or lifestyle, it doesn't mean that we should not love them. Loving someone does not mean that you have to like or agree with everything they do or say. Loving someone means you understand that they are one of God's children doing the best they can.

We are all his children, made in his likeness, made in love. How can we honor God if we don't strive to love and accept ALL of his children.

Tails of a Healer book - Must Read

I just finished a fantastic book! I literally finished it in 1 day because I couldn't put it down.  Tails of a Healer: Animals, Reiki & Shamanism by Rose DeDan.

The book is about a woman's journey to accepting her life purpose of becoming an animal intuitive and healer. The stories that she shares are witty, full of emotions, and real. If you have an interest in becoming a healer or are just curious about this incredible talent, I recommend grabbing this book. It helped to show me the wonderful capabilites of healers everywhere and the call to serve.

Kids love crystals - just make sure you clean them.

Kids love crystals. They attract children with their varied colors, the way they reflect the light, and their textures. Crystals also speak to children's innate desire to connect to all that is in nature. Crystals all have a healing property assigned to them. Let your child pick out the stones that resonate with him or her. Take note of the names of the stones that your child picks, you might find that he or she has picked a crystal whose healing vibration matches an issue your child is dealing with.

An Amethyst may be chosen for its beautiful purple color but maybe the child choosing the stone intuitively knows that Amethyst help with sleep issues, such as nightmares. Or maybe he or she chose the Hematite stone because it is black and shiny, but innately the body knew it would help the child with anxiety. The list of things that these beautiful, unique crystals can help with goes on and on. You may be amazed at how in tune our little ones are with the universe.

As soon as you get the crystals home, you will need to clean them off any residual energy attached to the stones from the many hands touching them. Cleaning their energy isn't complex nor does it need a ceremony.

· Place your stones in a bowl with mild detergent, getting rid of any dust or stickiness

· Rinse the stones to make sure there is not a soap residue left behind.

· Dry your stones and they are good to go

· For an extra boost dry the crystals in bright sunlight. Letting them dry naturally.

· Clean the crystals periodically if they start to look dull, dusty, or dirty. This helps to keep their healing energies fresh.

Let your child take the lead, watch which ones they gravitate to more than others. One idea is to allow your child to wear their preferred crystal of the day as a necklace. Here is a link to a pendant cage that won’t break your bank but is functional enough to allow you to change the crystals.  You can use leather or rope found in any craft store to make an necklace.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/87991335/30mm-silver-spiral-cage-pendant-for?ref=exp_listing

Helping Children with Night Terrors

Has your child ever woken up in the middle of the night screaming, inconsolable, incoherent, and seemingly still asleep? The typical name for this is called “Night Terrors”.  They are a real problem for many parents who have no idea how to help their child.

Night Terrors are much more frightening than an average bad dream. Symptoms of a night terror can range from mild to extreme.

·         Screaming, crying, even moaning – not easily consoled

·         Unable to communicate clearly. (All one of mine would say is OW!)

·         Not wanting to be touched – even acting as if every touch hurts them.

·         Getting out of bed, like sleepwalking but more in an attempt to find a safe space. Going under the bed or into a corner in a protective stance.

·         Hitting anyone who tries to help them.

·         Hitting their selves in frustration.

·         Eyes opened wide and glassy (but not really seeing) or completely closed as if still asleep.

Theories as to the cause of Night Terrors vary greatly. Some believe that there is a direct connection with what is happening in the child’s world at that moment.  Have there been big changes in the little one’s life? Is there turmoil at home, daycare, or school? Others believe that Night Terrors are caused by remembrance of past life events; that the child is remembering traumatic events that took place in a previous lifetime. Since young children are still new on the earth plane they have soul memories that their subconscious is still processing. Another theory is that during the night the soul of the child leaves the body (astral projection) to learn and explore other places.  Children born during this time often have a higher vibrational level and need to leave their bodies to stretch and exercise, as it is hard for their little body to hold such a large vibrational field.  

It is believed that while a child is dreaming, reliving a past event, or traveling, they are woken too early. Something has caused them to awaken before they are ready to come back into the present, fully conscious and aware. Some believe that the child’s soul is forced back into the body too quickly which is painful and disorienting. 

I have experienced Night Terrors with two of my children. Here is what I found helped to lessen the symptoms and even lengthen the time in between episodes:

1.       Investigate if something could be waking your child. Are they hot or cold? Do you have a pet that could be jumping on their bed, startling them?  Record the time when the incident occurs. If you find a pattern, is there a mechanical event happening in the house that could cause the child to awaken? (water heater or softener making noise etc.)

2.       Make sure your child is drinking enough water. Dehydration can make all the symptoms worse.

3.       Don’t react to your child’s Night Terror with frustration or alarm. This can be hard when your sleep has been disrupted and you feel helpless.

4.       Follow your child’s cues. If they don’t want to be touched,  don’t touch them unless you need to restrain them from hurting themselves. Likewise, if your child wants to get out of bed, let them. Moving around often helps the child “wake” sooner.  Keep the child safe, but don’t try to manipulate the situation.

5.       Lastly, and the most important thing that helps me is to keep a calm voice and repeat to the child:

“You are safe, in this time, in this place. You are safe. You are ok. You are here with me.” 

I have sat on the floor and repeated this until I see recognition in their eyes and they cometo me for the physical comfort to get back to sleep.  I know that it sounds goofy, but it has helped with both my children.  Whether their Night Terrors are from current things, past life events, or from astral travel, repeating the above phrase brings her awareness back to me so that I can help.

I hope these tips help and I would love to receive your feedback.  I also recommend talking to your doctor and even videotaping an incidence, so that the doctor can see what you are dealing with. Until a person has experienced this first hand, they don’t really understand how frightening this can be.

Overcoming Negative Messages we Tell Ourselves

Many who have been abused, misunderstood, and bullied all have one thing in common: Anger and Self Hate. There is a rage burning so deep inside and they don't always see how it is slowly destroying them. It’s as if people who are abused, regardless of how or why, continue to victimize themselves long after the abuser has left the picture.


They abuse themselves by turning to drugs and alcohol instead of facing their emotions head on. They can become sexually promiscuous, not caring about STD’s or pregnancy. The examples can range from the extreme to small like those who undervalue themselves in the workplace. Logically none of these decisions make any sense. Why would any sane person destroy themselves? Many people believe that if they were abused, that they could walk away from that life, knowing that the issue was with the abuser, not themselves. That may be the case for some, but it is rare.

 
Most people who have been abused don't set out to undermine themselves. It is more of a subconscious act. The abuse often continues within the persons' brain. There are thoughts, “tapes” that constantly play in the mind. Often these tapes have the personality, voice, or phrases that were used by their abuser. The thinking part of the person knows that the tapes lie, but it wasn’t the thinking part of the person that was damaged.  These deep inset messages can pop up at any time, especially when the psyche is vulnerable. The words that play in people’s heads are endlessly different as is their outcome.

Imagine entering a crowded room and hearing “You’re worthless and I don’t know why I had you” running in your head. How would that change your interactions with people?

Looking in a mirror and hearing “No one will love you if you are fat”, how can you ever truly be self-confident?

When choosing friends or mates hearing “If you weren’t so bad, I wouldn’t hit you”. Would that alter who you pick to be near you? Would that lead you to people who will also abuse you?

When dealing with people, who have been abused or bullied, it is important to get them to become aware of the tapes playing in their head. What do the tapes say? Who is saying them? What emotions do the phrases or words bring to the surface? When do they hear these tapes? Are they more frequent when there is stress anger, or sadness? Some of the things we tell ourselves are easily detected; others are deeply hidden or come out in humor, sarcasm or other deflection.

Once they become aware of the tapes playing in their head, they can then begin to defeat them. Another phrase needs to be chosen to counteract the damaging voice; new mantra’s need to be created.

 

For example, if they hear “No one will love you if you are fat”, it can be countered with “what a lie, I am surrounded by people who love me no matter what.” If a person hears “you deserve to be treated this way”, countering it with “I deserve to be treated with love and respect.”

It will take some time, but eventually that negative voice will be silenced or at least quieted. The hardest part is facing those messages head on, coming to terms with who said them, and resolving the emotions those tapes bring. Creating new, positive messages will help to repair the damage done to their soul. By stopping the negative hurtful messages, it will help them to learn self-love and self-respect, the keys to ending self-sabotage and abuse that creates a lifetime of pain.

 

 

 

Bullying - why it's not being stopped

One of my kids came home and told me of a situation that occurred at her high school. A friend of hers in art class was distraught and upon asking what was wrong, she was let into a piece of this girl's pain. The girl was on the bus riding to school when the incident happened. Though there is a camera running at all times, it only serves to catch incidents of physical violence or mischief. It does nothing to stop the most common type of bullying which is verbal.  A boy the girl had once "messed around" with started picking on her to anyone who would listen. He called her horrible names and said that her vagina smelled of rotten fish. The sexual innuendo succeeded in attracting everyone's attention.

Her red face led many to believe that what he said was true. Others on the bus either openly joined in by calling her names or they joined in by participating in passive bullying; laughing and gossiping.  Passive bullying often leaves the offender feeling not as guilty even though they laughed and may have even told the rumor to others. Throughout her day this girl was called fish and she felt whispered about by others. By art class, she had had enough and was on the verge of tears. Condolences and meaningless sayings such as "no one will remember", "their just jerks, ignore them" did little to fix the pain.

When I hear of a bullying incident my first reaction is anger. What is wrong with these kids? Why isn't the school doing more? Where are the bully's parents? After all, who hasn't heard of the school shootings that seem to have bullying and cruelty at the heart? Though anger is a normal reaction, it is a wasted one because it does no good. Anger only begets anger, retaliation only continues the cycle, punishment only further incenses the bully; all of these have been tried before and have failed. The school can hang posters and have seminars but if there are children in the school who have emotional and self-esteem issues, bullying will continue. The only thing that will work is Love and Compassion for all involved. A bully is usually hurting just as much as the child bullied. Bully's need to be asked "Why do you hate yourself so much, that you hurt other people?” Children who are secure in their world don't need to make others feel small. What is happening in a bully's world that makes them want to strike out to others? These are the questions that need to be asked and dealt with. That which we resist only grows stronger. Punishing someone who is punishing others does NOTHING to break the cycle.

Anti-bullying campaigns that focus on punishment and isolation don’t have a good track record. It only perpetuates the bully's feelings of inadequacy and fuels anger. What we need to do is have programs in school that develop a child's self-esteem. Children need to learn that they are special and valued for being good, decent people. If they are not getting this message at home, then the school needs to be teaching it. Healthy self-esteem, not ego, helps children to learn empathy and compassion. It also bully proofs your children so that they will not allow another person to make them feel less than. No one escapes the damage done by bullying, not the bully, the victim, the passive bully, nor the bystander. We are all tainted by the negativity and violence.

Animals can help heal you

When I was 13 I felt really hopeless and depressed. Living in a chaotic, alcoholic, abusive household had taken its toll. I was done. I couldn't see what life had to offer me besides what it had already given. One night I was in my room with a razor blade hacking into my wrists. My mom's intuition must have been right on as she opened the door to my room and saw that I was trying to hide the damage. She screamed and yelled, dragged me down to the bathroom to clean my wounds. I hadn't cut deep and I hadn't cut the right direction to warrant a hospital trip. Therefore it was kept as another family secret. 

I never tried to commit suicide again. I saw the grief in my parent's eyes and heard my mom screaming in fear and confusion, I realized that I couldn't cause them that kind of pain. I had to find another way to deal with my overwhelming sadness.  One evening my parents were fighting and I had to escape, I just couldn't take the negative energy bouncing around the house. So I went outside, sat on the picnic table and cried, when my dog came and sat beside me. I hugged her and started to tell her everything that was wrong. Freckles just looked at me, didn't judge me, didn't talk back or make me feel stupid. At one point she offered me her paw as if to say, "It's OK, I love you." It helped calm me down and for a short time I felt at peace.  Until I moved out of the house at 19, Freckles and I had many such chats. It was through her that I learned what unconditional love looked and felt like.

Animals have the ability to heal us through unconditional love. Unlike people, when we share with them our sorrows, they do not absorb the negative energy. When we pet them, our blood pressure goes down, our breathing slows down, and we experience an overall calming feeling. For some of us, pets offer us true unconditional love. Connect your heart chakra to theirs and let the healing begin.